Saturday, November 23, 2013


*SIGH* Where do I begin? I got a job working for a state agency through a dear friend. At first I was thrilled to be working again. It's just a temp position but hey it's money coming in and an excuse to get out of the house every morning. I like the job, I really do but the women that work there? Umm no. I don't know what I've done but once again I have some how become enemy target number 1. I've tried. Really I have. I've tried to fit in, laugh and joke around but it's not working. I'm talked about behind my back, have had snide comments made in a round about way to my face and all for tying to get a better handle on the job. We recently moved into a new location and I VOLUNTEERED to take a position that every one else seemed to HATE! They all bitched and complained every time it was their turn so I took it thinking it would make THEIR lives easier and I assumed they would help if I needed it. Oooh was I so very wrong!! I'm ignored. I have to constantly go looking for someone if I have a question. There have been a couple of times I have asked LOUDLY a question or two over the cubicle walls but am ignored, so that means I have to leave my cubicle and hunt someone down to get an answer and 9 times out of 10 I have to go to the manager of the division, so they assume I'm sucking up. Which in a way I kinda am simply because I want to turn this temporary 6 month position into a full time gig. That's all. I have no delusions of running anything or of working my way into a management position. Been there done that and all I want now is a job that I can go to, put in my 8 hours a day and go home. I DON"T want the stress, aggravation or heartache of being anyones manager ever again! Since the first week I have been called evil. A bitch. A brown nose. Bossy and so on. Umm yeah, I can be an evil, bossy brown nosing bitch but ladies have you looked in the mirror? Do you know how hard it is to try and fit in to an already established group? Do you care that I go home every night wound up so tight my head is throbbing? Do you care that your words have left wounds invisible to the naked eye but still there? Do you know or care that calling me stupid to my face, telling me I don't know how to do my job loud enough for the ENTIRE room to hear is grounds for a hostile work environment lawsuit?? As always there seems to be a ringleader and I have tried to figure out just exactly what I've done to cause such animosity. I've been nice, I emailed asking for an explanation. I asked for the chance to apologize or a chance to defend myself but there has been ZERO response. My options at this point are to keep my head down and apply for a job in another department, keep plugging away where I am or walk. I really don't want to walk away from this job. It's easy and while the money isn't great it's comparable to what I'd be paid at a much more physically demanding job. I also don't want to let these women know that they have broke me but at this point, three months in I am sooooooo tired of constantly being angry.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

So here I am, let's try this once again shall we?

Hmmm So much has changed from a few years ago. At the time of my last posting oh so many years ago I was on the brink of divorce and in a very unhappy place. *TA DA* Here I am now and am so very happy to say I am in a much better place. Hubby and I are still very much together, in love and determined to be one of those couples that really meant till death do us part. It wasn't easy, it wasn't always pretty but then again nothing really worth having ever is. Communication is the key! Cliché? Yes but TRUE! So onward and upward!! We are now back in our home state of Kentucky and let me tell you it is Heaven on earth! We're back with our families and have been treading the murky waters with all of that but it's good. It's hard to pick up exactly where you left off especially when you've been gone for 20+ years. My sisters are grown women with lives all their own. My middle sister is married with two kids and my baby sister is slowly figuring out what/who she wants to be as she grows. Our boys are grown men! When the hell did that happen?? I blinked and they were suddenly men! Noooooooooo!!! In my minds eye they're still my little men playing legos and mommy is the most important woman in their lives. *sigh* But the truth is my oldest is now married, he celebrates his first anniversary this week and my youngest is still living in Oklahoma. He is visiting with us right now, been here three weeks but leaves again Monday. *sob* I guess I should look at this as a good thing, they're living on their own and making their way through life but deep down in the inner recesses of my heart I miss my babies. I miss sticky kisses and snuggles before bedtime. Oh well there's always grandbabies...........NOT anytime soon!! I am working. I finally landed one of those Monday through Friday 8-4 jobs. YAY no more shift work for me!! I still have the hair dressing license but cannot use it here. To do that I would have to go back to school for an additional 300 hours and since I was a so-so beautician to begin with I decided not to fool with it. Hubby is still unemployed but that's A-OK with me. This is the first time since he was 16 that he hasn't had a paying job. He has taken time off to figure out what he really wants to do and I whole heartedly support that. Sooo this is what's been happening in my little corner of the web. What have you been up to?