Saturday, November 23, 2013

Work.

*SIGH* Where do I begin? I got a job working for a state agency through a dear friend. At first I was thrilled to be working again. It's just a temp position but hey it's money coming in and an excuse to get out of the house every morning. I like the job, I really do but the women that work there? Umm no. I don't know what I've done but once again I have some how become enemy target number 1. I've tried. Really I have. I've tried to fit in, laugh and joke around but it's not working. I'm talked about behind my back, have had snide comments made in a round about way to my face and all for tying to get a better handle on the job. We recently moved into a new location and I VOLUNTEERED to take a position that every one else seemed to HATE! They all bitched and complained every time it was their turn so I took it thinking it would make THEIR lives easier and I assumed they would help if I needed it. Oooh was I so very wrong!! I'm ignored. I have to constantly go looking for someone if I have a question. There have been a couple of times I have asked LOUDLY a question or two over the cubicle walls but am ignored, so that means I have to leave my cubicle and hunt someone down to get an answer and 9 times out of 10 I have to go to the manager of the division, so they assume I'm sucking up. Which in a way I kinda am simply because I want to turn this temporary 6 month position into a full time gig. That's all. I have no delusions of running anything or of working my way into a management position. Been there done that and all I want now is a job that I can go to, put in my 8 hours a day and go home. I DON"T want the stress, aggravation or heartache of being anyones manager ever again! Since the first week I have been called evil. A bitch. A brown nose. Bossy and so on. Umm yeah, I can be an evil, bossy brown nosing bitch but ladies have you looked in the mirror? Do you know how hard it is to try and fit in to an already established group? Do you care that I go home every night wound up so tight my head is throbbing? Do you care that your words have left wounds invisible to the naked eye but still there? Do you know or care that calling me stupid to my face, telling me I don't know how to do my job loud enough for the ENTIRE room to hear is grounds for a hostile work environment lawsuit?? As always there seems to be a ringleader and I have tried to figure out just exactly what I've done to cause such animosity. I've been nice, I emailed asking for an explanation. I asked for the chance to apologize or a chance to defend myself but there has been ZERO response. My options at this point are to keep my head down and apply for a job in another department, keep plugging away where I am or walk. I really don't want to walk away from this job. It's easy and while the money isn't great it's comparable to what I'd be paid at a much more physically demanding job. I also don't want to let these women know that they have broke me but at this point, three months in I am sooooooo tired of constantly being angry.

No comments: